Starting our marriage on the right foot

I must--absolutely must--begin this post by declaring to the world how amazingly happy I am to be married to Erin! As I was sure to share with her earlier that day in a recorded message, regardless of anything else that might happen that day, the most important thing is that we would pledge our lives to each other. We did!

Also for the record, we had a beautiful wedding day! Erin was stunning, the day was beautiful, love and happiness were all around--it was grand! Yes, there was an injury. All things considered, though, it was a small mishap in a glorious day.

The accident: we were having a photo shoot at Stony Creek Metropark between the ceremony and the reception. Our first location was the old Sheldon Estates in the park. We decided to take a picture with Erin and me on top of a stone table that resides on the property (you can see it if you follow the link above). We did note that the table was cracked, and we did test it...at least on one side. After the photo, Erin dismounted safely. As I stepped down--mostly ignoring the offers of assistance from other members of the wedding party--the table fell apart and half of it landed on the side of my foot.

For sanity sake, I won't recount all of the details from there. Suffice it to say that I tried to persevere, but everyone else realized that I was in shock and needed medical attention. Erin rode with me in the back of a mini-van (sprawled out on the cargo floor in the back) to the nearest emergency room. That is when we discovered the secret key to crazy-super-speedy fast attention in an ER: a wedding dress. The staff at Crittendon Hospital were fantastic and had us out of there really quickly. Initial diagnosis was a sprain, so I left on crutches with an Ace bandage and splint (air cast).

We were late for dinner, but we still enjoyed our reception! Some would say that the crutches actually improved my dancing! I do still owe Erin a dance to our wedding song, "Now Touch the Air Softly" by Peter Mayer. We did the best we could, but she deserves another opportunity sans crutches.

We received a call on Sunday with the radiologist report: suspected minor fracture in the foot. We were advised to enjoy our honeymoon and call for a CT scan upon our return. So, we headed to our Lake Seneca (Ohio) beach house retreat for the week, and Erin took fabulous care of me! Again, I owe her a relaxing retreat once healed.

Upon our return, we discovered the joys of HMO healthcare, primary care physicians, and referrals. As of today, we are aware of two minor fractures in one bone of my foot (left foot) near the ankle. I am wearing a weight-bearing boot that can be removed, although I am not yet able to really apply any weight. As such, I am still on crutches. Anticipating another 4 weeks of recovery, but perhaps getting into some mild walking in about 2 weeks.

And that is the story of how we started our marriage "on the right foot."

Boca blunder? Beer it!

So, you tried some Morning Star black bean burgers and realized they were amazing. So, you went to Sam's Club and discovered they only carry the Original Boca Burger for veggie burgers...and you bought a case. You didn't do that? Well, I did.

Discovery: Original Boca Burgers consumed as burgers seem a bit like eating canned cat food. Ugh. Well, I am here to report that there IS hope when stuck with a bulk case of these faux-meat patties.

First step: remove any perception that the little buggers will ever be consumed as burgers or in sandwich format. The sooner this reality is acknowledged, the faster possibilities can take shape.

Second step: acknowledge that you now have a bulk supply of low-fat protein nicely packaged in single servings, taking the guess work out of measurement.

Third step: expand your culinary skills by thinking of ways to introduce "protein chunks" and "protein crumbles" into other meals. A half-step to this is to simply add your new wonder protein with beef in things like chili and sloppy joe--it's kinda like adding bread to the meatloaf, but with more nutritional value. However, it really can be a protein substance on it's own, added to things like salads and stir fry.

Final step: get creative with the protein preparation. This requires SEASONING for sure! I'm pretty simple, typically using original Mrs. Dash. However, I'm sure you can get as wild and crazy as you want with your own seasoning sensations, including fresh herbs, spices, peppers, and such. Just watch out for seasonings that contain salt/sodium, as you start to infringe upon the health factor of this protein substance. Since they are frozen, I suggest a quick thaw in the microwave (60-90 seconds should work). Then, toss 'em in a skillet with some oil or Smart Balance and seasonings, then fry 'em up just like ground beef.

Want to add a nice little extra flavor? Add a splash (well, 2 splashes) of your favorite beer to the frying process (and, of course, consume the rest of the beer). The faux meat substance absorbs the flavor quite nicely, and a malty amber will add a bit of caramelization to the mix (while decreasing the healthiness just a tad). My favorite right now is Dos Equis Amber, aged several months.

From there, add it to some veggie-based or whole-grain pasta entrees as you wish. I recommend consuming immediately, but it will store OK in the fridge (the texture just gets a bit chewy in my opinion).

I will admit that I've actually gone from being repulsed by these things to actually looking forward to my "Boca protein" additions. All it takes is completely disregarding the format in which they were prepared for consumption.

Oh, and for the record, the Morning Star Spicy Black Bean burgers really are fabulous...as burgers/sandwiches!

Cheers!

The Gift of Forgiveness

The following message was publised as a Q&A segment of the Crucial Skills newsletter (Holiday Edition), a publication of VitalSmarts. Click the link above (blog post title) to view the original newsletter. I found the message to be quite insightful and worth sharing.

Cheers!
The Gift of Forgiveness


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Joseph Grenny is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer.



Dear Crucial Skills,


When my grandmother became very ill, my dad and his four siblings struggled to come to an agreement about what was best for their mother. My aunt (the oldest sibling) became very controlling and everyone had a difficult time staying in dialogue with her, including my dad who is exceptional at mastering his stories and building mutual respect and mutual purpose.


This conflict has now ruptured relationships such that after more than thirty years of tradition, we are cancelling my grandma's family Christmas party. I would like to see my dad and his siblings forgive each other and focus on the needs of my grandmother, who is obviously affected the most. How can I help my family overcome past fights and come together for the holidays?


Signed,

Facilitating Forgiveness


Dear Facilitating Forgiveness,


I was thinking about your question last week while I took my morning run in the National Mall in Washington, DC. As I ran past the wonderful new Martin Luther King memorial, I screeched to a halt in front of a granite inscription that read, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."


I've ruminated ever since on the implications of that powerful concept for your situation. Here are some thoughts I hope will help:


1. Patience is the most genuine expression of love. The first thing to keep in mind is that you cannot force forgiveness. You can't compel other people to soften their hearts, examine their own faults, or modify their judgments of others. You have to wait until they want to.


Allowing them to go through the process of challenging their own emotions is an authentic expression of your love for them. It reflects your willingness to patiently wait for the family unity you crave so they can go through the natural process of human growth. Attempting to force the process is more likely to create resistance than reform. Watch—but wait—for signs that others feel some of the loss you feel, then make gentle attempts to help them move forward.


2. Forgiveness is the natural result of a new story. We can't feel differently toward others until we think differently about them—and ourselves. Forgiveness is difficult because we stay stuck in the story we've told ourselves about what happened. As long as we maintain a picture of others' villainy and our own virtue, we feel morally justified in our anger or frustration. We take delight in the suffering we hope the other person is feeling from our withheld affection because we perversely imagine they deserve to suffer or that the suffering is a learning experience. "Perhaps," we reason, "this mutual misery will help them see the error of their ways and become a better human being. I'm a wonderful person for helping them have this life-changing experience!"


Until we intentionally examine our own faults and others' virtues, we feel no need to forgive. The instant we begin this painful but wonderful process, the icy feelings inside us begin to melt. If we continue that process to its natural end, feelings of forgiveness are inevitable. Changing your story is the key to changing your feelings. Don't try to get others to forgive. Instead, help them to challenge their stories. Forgiveness will follow.


3. We'll challenge what we think when we change what we want. Given that challenging our stories is a painful process, why would anyone do so? We do it when our motives change. That's why the first principle of Crucial Conversations is start with heart. When your motives change, your behavior follows naturally. People who resist forgiving are sometimes stuck in self-justifying stories—stories that protect them from the pain of reexamining their view of themselves and others. Sadly, the primary motivator that drags our story into the light is the acute experience of the pain of a lost relationship.


Now, I know your question wasn't about helping yourself forgive, but about facilitating that process in others. So how can we use the principles I outlined above to influence others to forgive? First, don't rush them. That just distracts them from experiencing the pain that could motivate them to change. Second, acknowledge their pain. Affirm the parts of their story you agree with and the hurt they legitimately feel. Third, invite motivation. Let them know you miss the family gatherings and guess they do, too. Tell them you think there is a way back to the former intimacy if they are open to discussion. Then be patient again. Periodically reaffirm the invitation, but don't badger. When they're ready, they'll let you know.


One of two things might happen if you are patient and supportive. First, your family members may just bury the past and reconnect without resolving anything. Perhaps this is an acceptable compromise if all are happy with it. Second, they may respond to your invitation to help. If they take the second route, this will be your big opportunity for a crucial conversation. I'd suggest you invite them to share their story, then request the chance to share a different view of things. Be clear up front that your intent is to help them see what happened differently so they can feel differently, and gain their consent for this process before you dive into it. If they seem resistant, withdraw and assure them you aren't trying to force your view on them. If they are going to change their minds, they will have to invite your influence in doing so.


Our judgments or demands of others won't drive out their stories—just like hate cannot drive out hate and darkness cannot drive out darkness—only love and light can do that. While I don't think there is any special brilliance in these modest suggestions, I hope you discern the heart of them—patience, love, and an appeal to what they really want is the only path to helping people reappraise their stories and reconnect with loved ones.


Happy holidays and peace to you and yours,


Joseph

Getting Married!

Wow, another HUGE delay in posting! Well, for the record, I'm engaged (in case you didn't already know). I proposed to Erin St. Bernard (Macomb, MI) on October 29, and she accepted without hesitation. :-)

I'm not going to write much here because I think most readers already know what's up. However, I will post our wedding website once it is up and running. Our "story" will be there.

Obviously, my blogging continues to be affected by this relationship. I'm not complaining, and I have not received any complaints, so I guess it is all good. Being in a long-distance relationship, we talk on the phone every night. Between our talks, my travels to visit, our wedding planning, and life in general (especially around the holidays), I pretty much have disconnected from television and my blog. Please remain subscribed, though. I will be back.

Blog Delays: Love in Progress

So, I post about being on Facebook too much and neglecting my blog, and then I disappear. What gives?

Picture a summertime highway with lots of orange barrels, and the obligatory "Delays Ahead: Construction in Progress" signs. Well, my blog should have a "Love in Progress" sign.

I don't really have permission to be writing this post, so don't expect details. Suffice it to say that I'm head-over-heels for a beautiful young woman who is bringing an abundance of warmth and joy into my life. I honestly don't think I've ever experienced anything quite as genuine as our relationship and the journey we are taking together.

The blog is not going anywhere, and I certainly hope to introduce my readers to "her" in the future. For now, enjoy the end of summer and be mindful of the blessings in your life. Until my words hit your screen again, I'll be taking my own advice.

Facebook lazy and intellectual demise

I must admit that I've become "Facebook lazy." When I first started blogging on MySpace in 2006, it was a personal challenge to see how much I could communicate publicly between random thoughts and personal insights. It was also a tad bit reaching out to a woman of interest, but that's neither here nor there.

I'll be the first to admit that I've become a Facebook addict over the past year. After I quit my residence life job and my closest professional and personal companion became my research, I clung to Facebook as a way to maintain contact with people. To a certain extent, that situation still exists. I am grateful for this technology--it has allowed me to develop some relationships that would not have existed otherwise, and it has helped me to maintain a few relationships as well. It is not preferred to face-to-face interaction by a long shot, but it sure is nice during a period of many life transitions.

Here's the thing, though. As I stated, I've become "Facebook lazy." Since attaching to Facebook as an on-line communication portal, I've nearly abandoned blog posts. Even though I come up with stuff to write at least weekly, I settle for Facebook "status updates." Some would argue that my use of that feature resembles "tweeting" more than status updating, but I really don't want to get into yet another form of electronic communication. At least with Facebook, I can connect with other people. Twitter really is like a tweeting bird--"look at me! look at me!" Anyway, the point is that I've gotten lazy. I've limited my public commentary to 420 characters at time (with the occasional "reply" to my own status update).

What's the point? On the surface, this is about how I choose to communicate. At a deeper level, it's a commentary regarding technology. I'm a fan of technological advances; I have been for as long as I can remember. However, technology has always been comprised of "tools" for human work and living. The plow really started it all, and the plow still required a great bit of effort to work effectively. I don't really think the plow challenged the future of humanity or "humanness" the way computer technology does. Technological advances of the modern age (television, satellite, internet, e-mail, social networking, mp3 shuffle, wifi) empower us to communicate and learn in ways far surpassing historical methods, but they also empower us to be lazy and complacent. Whereas the plow empowered humanity to grow more and grow more efficiently, modern technology empowers us to limit or even turn off our intellect.

As I write these words, I encounter abundant thoughts not making their way to the screen. A thought I cannot shake, though, is the thought of family. My perspective is that of a professional single--a bachelor who is overly connected to technology and lacking human contact beyond my work and limited social life. For me, the choices presented by technology are serious. With so much of my personal life being "wired," I must truly choose between intellectual empowerment or social networking autopilot. For so many people out there with families--with spouses, children, significant others, etc.--I hope this is less of a concern. I hope that daily human interactions with loved ones empowers human intellect enough that all of this e-chatter is simply extra, perhaps bearing substance and the potential for growth as persons, but always second to familial interactions.

I'm not pledging to blog more, but I am pledging to not have my communications and writings limited to Facebook posts. I am pledging to keep my mind active, my soul nourished, and not survive on hyper-auto-pilot.

In other news, I'm a big fan of Lady Gaga's new album Born This Way.

I watched Jesus Camp...

So, I finally watched the documentary Jesus Camp tonight. I had many mental notes for a blog post as I was watching, but I must admit that most of my thoughts were clearly articulated by the radio commentator featured in the film. So, I'll just post a few brief thoughts and reactions.

1. I don't talk about "God" very often. Although I neither preach nor testify, I do live my life according to a set of values (Christian-based) and hope [have faith] that "God" would approve.
2. If humans were created by God, then God blessed humans with intellectual capacity. Indoctrinating children to a particular viewpoint--and one that is human and thus fallible--is in contrast to the capacity with which we are blessed. I believe that children should be raised both with a set of values and with a willingness to seek truth and understanding. How can a person truly "find God" if "God" is something forced upon a developing mind?
3. Jesus did not make war with religious enemies--he preached a message of love and lead by example. He died for his conviction rather than giving into hatred and conflict.
4. There is actually much to admire in the conviction and value-driven behaviors of many religious conservatives. If I make a pros and cons list, I think my list of cons would still outweigh the pros, but it still leaves room for appreciation.
5. I am fairly certain I could fall in love with a woman who experienced this kind of upbringing, but then discovered spiritual consciousness through the abandonment of religious doctrine. I'm pretty sure I'd get along well with her.

Those are my reactions. I highly recommend this film. I believe it was tastefully produced and would appeal (for different reasons) to a wide range of religious and political perspectives.

Nipples in the media

Before I get into this quick post, let me say that home ownership is going much better (for now) and things are in good shape. It looks like I may not have a lawn to speak of this year, but still better than the house falling apart.

So, after more than 2 months without a post, it's time for something random: nipples on TV.

The commercial posted here (until the link goes missing) is from T-Mobile and shows a man without a shirt, and the ad plays off of the adage "gave the shirt off my back." Anyway, the very apparent and well defined (CGI? makeup?) nipples on this guy got me to thinking. Men can be pictured unrestricted in US media completely topless, but women cannot. The limit for females seems to be nipples, at least that's what I've noticed in print media. I'm not going to get into specific laws and regulations here, especially since it gets a little complicated between laws (over-the-air broadcast vs. cable/satellite) and network expectations relative to advertisers. Regardless of the specifics, I think it is interesting that male nipples can be seen shown freely while female nipples are restricted. Should we cover or blur men's nipples, too? Should we say that women's breasts should be completely obscured? Can a flat-chested women be shown topless, or should a large-breasted man have his man-boobs covered?

My opinion...I'm generally liberal when it comes to this stuff, so I don't see why women's breasts should be covered at all. If we are going to obscure them, though, it seems like the nipple is not the starting point. Heck, if male nipples can be shown, perhaps female breasts should be covered but their nipples could be exposed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not really attempting a political statement or encouraging action here. I just find the whole thing odd, and seeing this guy's nipples on TV every day just brought it all to the forefront for me.

Until next time...

Homeowner: Day 20

With my own house, I can laugh as loud as I want whenever I want. Thanks to Everybody Loves Raymond for helping me realize this fact!

I also want to put in a plug for Lowe's Home Improvement. I'm sure not all stores are the same, but I have received amazing service and advice since buying my house. I simply walk in, start asking questions, and they quickly figure out my deep level of ignorance and talk me through it--including walking all over the store picking up parts and showing me how stuff works.

I don't think there's much to report tonight. So far, I put a 7" section of foam insulation around one very small pipe that froze and re-constructed my "fort" around the water pump to be safe. I also bought some insulating material for the garage door and will install that sometime soon. Tonight's plan is to get non-garage stuff out of the garage, move tools/workbench stuff into one spot, and clear a spot for the washer and dryer (although the washer might stay in the house until spring--undecided). This will also include getting books placed (but not ordered) on the bookshelves.

Burgers are thawing for dinner. Not to crossover blog topics, but I purchased 4.5 lbs of 90% lean ground beef at Sam's last week. I made 8 1/4-lb burgers to freeze, and froze the rest in 1/2-lb blocks. We'll see how it works out--I was very surprised to find myself buying bulk meat at Sam's.

Now that I think about it, today was a busy homeowner day on the phone. I contacted a local trash hauler and setup garbage pickup (yes, I live in a township)--that's about $18/month. I also scheduled the delivery of the guest bed (purchased through Sam's). At some point over the weekend, I cleared out the guest room for the bed, so that is a good thing. The big puzzle piece, however, is that I received quotes from the contractor for both the kitchen floor (to be paid by Lowe's insurance) and to fix the foundation/footer problem. I'm not going to speak of finances on this one right now--suffice it to say that it is an expensive fix, but it is less than I was fearing.

Well, I should get back to work. I logged in thinking I would just post the laughing observation, but here we are. Back to work...

Home ownership: 2 weeks

I will be very honest here--I'm sure I would have cried by now if I thought it would do any good. It won't, however, so I'm pretty sure that's why I have not.

I did have hot water when I moved into the house on Dec. 30. That was very nice. However, I was greeted by a giant crack in the living room wall which I basically had to ignore for a bit.

Master Bed--the room is no longer, and never will be, this clean

The movers arrived and unloaded the truck. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I've admitted before that I own too much stuff, but this is when it kicks in. I was staring down boxes with very little wiggle room. Even the garage had more boxes than anticipated. The major accomplishment for night one was getting the master bedroom ready for sleeping.

On Dec. 31, I struggled against spotty cell phone service and made some calls regarding the wall, at this point still hoping it was just a really poor drywall issue. The calls yielded very little. Beyond that, I spent Dec. 31 and Jan. 1 getting the kitchen unpacked and organized so that I would have at least one room available. I had overnight guests scheduled to arrive in the evening on Jan. 1. On Dec. 31, my refrigerator arrived from Lowe's. Unfortunately, they damaged the kitchen flooring (vinyl) in the process, and the refrigerator was left setting about a foot from the back wall. Lowe's next move would be to send someone to take insurance pictures.

Kitchen, including "island" table

Otherwise, things went pretty well. Although the place was certainly cluttered with boxes, I was generally ready for my guests when they arrived. We went out to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise which was wonderful! That was pretty much the night--I slept on the couch so they could have my bed.

We all slept in on Sunday, and my guests left around 12:30. I got back into the mess, hoping to get something accomplished before going to work on Monday. That accomplishment was getting my desk put together and my office partly organized. This was strategic since internet was being installed on Monday morning. As for the installation, that went fine.

Office

Overall, unpacking and organizing has gone well over the past week. However, the house has presented its fair share of problems. Most significantly, after inviting a contractor over for an estimate, I learned that my wall problem (as feared) is actually from the house shifting. At some point after the flooding, someone had the brilliant idea to shim the house at the support beam using plywood--yes, it snapped. The solution is to jack up the house, do some digging, and pour some concrete. I don't yet have the photos or estimate, so more later.

"The Wall": living room, above laundry closet

I've also struggled since Dec. 31 with some leaking under the kitchen sink associated with the dishwasher line. Over the course of this week, I tried fixing the leak. At one point, the leak appeared fixed, but then a different leak appeared. The second leak required me to shut off the hot water supply. After a trip to Lowe's yesterday and some diligent efforts, I discovered that ALL of my water was gone--I lost pressure from the well tank. Thanks to some hammer tapping, I managed to get the water working on Saturday night. However, I woke up around 4:30 this morning and discovered it was off again. I was in the garage until 5:30am or 6:00am (back and forth to my computer) learning how a pressure switch works. Mine appeared to be stuck. I learned how to manually get it running, but the gauge was also bad, so I had no idea how much pressure was in the tank. I got the water running, killed the pump switch, and went back to bed. After a few trips to Lowe's and some more online research, I discovered that the switch was OK, but the water supply feeding the switch was frozen. So, I took care of that problem and the water supply is fine for the moment. I also gave in and put in new hardware under the sink. As of this moment, the dishwasher finished a full cycle and no leaks.

What else...the infamous washer/dryer closet in my living room. After MUCH effort, I've concluded that my particular machines are not going to fit in the closet. This means they are going to the garage hookups. Overall, I'm OK with this situation. However, it does not make me happy given the recent water line freeze. More planning.

Living Room on Dec. 31 (from the couch)

The living room is pretty tight, but it's coming together. My entertainment center will not fit with speakers, so I've got the above setup for now. The plan is to buy a flat-screen TV, including a TV stand that will accommodate my A/V items. That plan is on hold, however, until the other house issues are resolved. 6 months? A year?

So, that's the story 19 days after closing and 11 days after fully moving in. More to come.

Homeowner: Day 2

Day 2 was a decent day. I slept in late on the air mattress, mostly because I did not sleep well (probably a combination of new place and air mattress).

Still no hot water, so no showering. I got dressed, organized a list for the day, and headed out. First it was off to Lowe's to return the garage door opener remote and to purchase a few small items (door stops, screwdriver, and hammer). Then it was off to Sam's to look at beds and research delivery options. Lunch was at White Castle--yum! I then visited several offices in town in order to file a mortgage exemption for my property taxes--this went very smoothly and probably deserves its own entry later.

The selling real estate agent met me to look at the water heater--no luck. I've been promised that I will have a working water heater by the time I return from vacation.

After a quick trip to the bank, I installed the door stops on all doors in preparation for move-in day when I return. Then I packed up and hit the road for Ohio. Another long night drive, but good to be home for the holidays.

That's it for now. More to come after the holidays.

Homeowner: Day 1

I took possession of my house today--yay! Although I am officially "living" in the house, I won't actually be "moved into" the house until Dec. 30 when I come back from Ohio with movers and a giant truck. Yes, all of my stuff is still in storage. So, tonight includes an air mattress, camping chair, and iPod.

I've retreated to IHOP for dinner and internet access.

I attempted to be at work today, but was derailed more than anticipated. I moved out of my apartment Tuesday morning and spent Tuesday night in a hotel with my car COMPLETELY packed (the only place for my laptop was under my legs in front of the driver's seat). As such, I desperately needed to unload the car. I did that around 11am immediately after closing. At the very least, I wanted to get the water turned on and the water lines cleared. In retrospect, I should have better checked for hot water.

When I unpacked the car, it marked the first time having my car empty since July! Life on the road is over!

First hiccup--smoke detectors beeping. They are wired into the house, but the backup batteries were dead. So, it was off to Lowe's for batteries, a shovel, and salt for the driveway. I went to Lowe's because I also wanted to schedule delivery for my refrigerator (Dec. 31). I also purchased a programmable remote for my garage door opener.  I really should have bought a step ladder, but I refuse since I already own two (in storage, in Ohio).

Back home, I used a cooler as a step stool and replaced the detector batteries: FIXED. I shoveled the driveway a bit and put down some salt. I attempted to program the garage remote, but no luck. Then it was off to work, but I stopped for lunch on the way (I had not eaten all day, and it was about 2pm).

Work was work--I was the only person on our floor, and I managed to finish a project.

Back home around 6pm. I christened the master bath, and quickly discovered that there was no hot water. In the morning, I *thought* I felt warm water as I was clearing the lines, but apparently not. I did everything I could to troubleshoot (which is not much with an electric heater), but no luck. Long story short, after a few phone calls, the selling agent agreed to come out tomorrow; I have an insurance policy for this problem, but they may not cover because one stipulation is that the item be in working order at the start of the policy--that is in question. So, no hot water tonight.

Amidst all of the evening phone calls, I discovered that my cell connection is *much* worse than I believed before. I suspect I will be highly reliant upon MagicJack for phone service at home.

I also continued efforts to program the garage remote. This involved phone calls to computers, and struggling with internet on my phone to get user manuals for my opener. It apparently is the wrong frequency--I just ordered a replacement online for almost the same price. Back to Lowe's for a return!

Oh, more story...during this process, a wire apparently came loose from the opener, so I could not open the garage door at all (and, yes, my car was in the garage). I quickly discovered the problem and used a knife from my golf bag to fix the problem. BROKEN and FIXED.

BTW, I'm very thankful for the golf-bag knife. My tools are in storage, and I did not buy any at Lowe's (yet).

That's probably enough excitement for one day. I'm going to finish my meal and head back home. I need to inflate my air mattress, put on some sheets, and then settle down for a long winters nap.

Tomorrow's excitement:

• hope that the water heater problem is resolved
• return the garage opener remote
• buy light bulbs
• attempt to resolve a property tax issue before leaving town
• buy a bed for the guest room?
• make a decision on whether or not to purchase cable tv along with my internet

Single at Sam's

For the first time in my life, I'm working a full-time job without a college meal plan. I've had plenty of experience shopping and cooking over breaks and summers, and also during my most recent unemployment Winter-Summer 2010. Still, mixing it together with the job is...well, it's adult.

Anyway, after years of tagging along with my parents at Sam's Club and piggy-backing on their membership, I decided to take the membership dive. So, now come the two questions: will I actually save money, and can I make it worth my while as a single consumer. Answering the first question involves a boring spreadsheet, but I did save over $11 in week one.

As for the second question, I'm thinking there might be some writing material regarding my creativity with bulk foods. Keep in mind that I am currently living in a small apartment with a limited number of dishes, spices, etc.

Week 1: Pot Roast (sorry, I can't find a pic of the actual product)
This puppy is pre-cooked and serves 8 people. The first night started out as straight-forward pot roast with pierogies (I love pierogies). The leftovers were too plentiful for a storage container, so they went into the fridge in a cooking pot (for easy re-heating, too). After a few little snack nibbles, the next roast meal was a breakfast--pot roast omelet. Although it turned out more like scrambled eggs, mmmmm tasty!  The third roast meal was burritos--correction, fried tacos. I used flat tortillas and fried them in a skillet to make two very meaty tacos. Three meals down, more meat to use. Tonight (meal four) was beef and pasta--a variation on beef tips and noodles but using shredded beef and rotini pasta. I'm not sure I would have made it quite this way for guests, but I was very pleased! There's going to be a meal five, but I mixed all of the meat in with pasta, so #5 will be leftovers of #4.

Not very glamorous, but 5 single-person meals (4 unique) out of one Sam's entree that cost less than $12. If only it had less sodium.

Fortunately, the meatballs I purchased were packaged in two separate sealed bags ;-)

Thanksgiving

I'm a day early for this post, but this is my available time. Part of me is sad this year because I'm remembering, and missing, the huge Thanksgiving meals we used to have at my grandparents' house. I miss Grandma and Grandpa, and I miss the family gathering.

On the other hand, there is so much for which to be thankful and celebrate this year. First off, I survived unemployment with money to spare, and I am somehow able to immediately purchase a house--THAT is HUGE! Of course, there's also the fact that I found a job that matches my interests extremely well without compromise, so that's a real blessing in such a crumby economy. For that matter, the job and the community are probably a better fit than I was aware or would have designed.

I certainly cannot forget my family. My parents, who continue to love and support me, and who gave me shelter [again] this summer as I transitioned--how wonderful! It's great that I'll be spending the holiday with them. Even though I won't be spending this holiday with other family, it is still a blessing to have such amazing love and support--looking forward to seeing everyone at Christmas.

Of course, I must be thankful for my friends, too. One thing I realized this summer is just how many amazing friends I have all over the country. It's fantastic! I'm actually pretty surprised that I ended up moving someplace where I don't know anyone (although I do know people who used to live here).

I'm sure there is much more for which I should and will give thanks, but that should suffice for now. Since I'm thankful for a job, I should get to bed so I can go to work on time and rested in the morning.

Love, peace, and joy to all this holiday season!

New Beginning

Oddly, although I don't have much keeping me occupied in my spare time, I have not been inspired to write. Apologies extended to my readers.

I've been at ISU and in Terre Haute now for just over a week. In my first day at ISU, I received an ISU t-shirt and a label pin from HR, and received a welcome card from the president later in the week. I'm sure I'll discover the usual junk and politics down the road, but it's nice to have a welcoming start! The first week was a pretty casual mix of reading stuff to get my bearings, getting things organized, and attending meetings. I did co-facilitate a seminar on Thursday, so it has not been extremely slow. The lack of any fiery baptismal is making it a little tough to judge the whole scene, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a good place and a good job.

Home life is OK. I'm living in a one-bedroom, furnished university apartment that is pretty decent although the couch has much to be desired (which is the only seating beyond "dining" chairs) and the floor is all tile. On the flip side, it's the nicest tiny kitchen I've ever encountered. House purchasing continues to move right along, and closing should still happen around Dec. 6. I still have not made arrangements for moving all of my stuff from Ohio (storage).

The "stuff" and home factor are both making this a slow start. I don't have a home in which to get settled, and I don't have any of my office stuff for the workplace.  So, "home" and work are both pretty sterile right now. All in due time, though.

Wireless internet is certainly nice, though, and I've enjoyed having my Facebook connections and online chats! At some point, I need to get out and about in Terre Haute--and even around ISU--possibly meeting some people. With all of the transitions and holidays, though, I don't mind if that waits until 2011.

That's really about it for now. Oh, it turns out that my dissertation was posted online with a major typo on the title page! It looks like a revised copy is going to be uploaded, but my department at BG had to "cash in their chips" to make it happen. Oops.  I'm happy for it, though. I can live with typos, but a title page reading "Doctor of Eduation" does not bode well for credibility.

OK, I really think that is all for now. I'll stay alert for creative moments and get some more writing up soon.  Cheers!

Why I'm Still Single

The One I Seek (or Why I’m Still Single)

She loves the outdoors, especially aesthetically, preferring mountain or beach to city scape.

She enjoys leisurely hikes through the forest.

She will join me in learning to hang glide, even if it makes her nervous, or perhaps she becomes my teacher.

She enjoys the thrill of a roller coaster, the tranquility of a floating canoe, and the pure essence of a rose garden.

She plays golf, or at least would enjoy walks around a golf course just for the stroll.

She sips coffee or wine for relaxation in the moment rather than intoxication.

She is warmed by gentle caress upon her skin and hair, is excited for sexual exploration, and finds peace in warmth shared body to body naked in mid-day sunlight, glow of the moon, or aura of an evening fire.

She appreciates artistry and sees art naturally present in the world around her.

She is mentally, physically, and spiritually strong enough to solo navigate life’s journey, but would rather share the adventure.

She laughs often because it feels good, and her face is most natural with a smile.

She is passionately motivated by something beyond her self and is more concerned with what she gives and what she shares than what she receives.

She appreciates the journey far more than the destination.

She knows truth is love and love is truth.

She Is, and she Will Be, far more than she ever Was.

Time for Equality!

I'm fed up, pissed off, and ready to rant tonight. The US Senate blocked to opportunity to vote--TO VOTE--regarding Don't Ask, Don't Tell. For the love of humanity, when is the political machine of this country--my country--going to actively abandon prejudice and bigotry?!?!

Let's have a little test.

Scenario 1: two people love each other very much and decide to get married in a church (or someplace else if you wish). They live and grow together, and eventually start a family. As time passes, one spouse grows "tired" of the relationship and seeks rejuvenation through sexual exploits with other people to whom s/he is not married. As a result of the sexual exploits, the unfaithful spouse contracts a sexually transmitted disease and is hospitalized. The faithful spouse executes his/her right as a spouse to visit in the hospital, where s/he serves papers of intent to divorce and take the children.

Scenario 2: two people love each other very much and decide to legally marry through a Justice of the Peace. They live and grow together, and eventually decide to start a family though adoption. They remain a happy, loving family for many years. Eventually, one spouse is diagnosed with a fatal illness and is admitted to the hospital. The healthy spouse visits every day and does his/her best to strengthen the family's loving bond, and also to make sure all legal documents are in order for the spouse's passing (including guardianship of the children).

Which scenario above is deemed "immoral" and "illegal" by many "socially conservative" citizens of the United States? If you are considering the potential for a homosexual relationship, then Scenario 2 is illegal, as demonstrated below.

two people love each other very much and decide to legally marry [ILLEGAL] through a Justice of the Peace. They live and grow together, and eventually decide to start a family though adoption [ILLEGAL]. They remain a happy, loving family for many years. Eventually, one spouse is diagnosed with a fatal illness and is admitted to the hospital. The healthy spouse visits every day [ILLEGAL] and does his/her best to strengthen the family's loving bond, and also to make sure all legal documents are in order [ILLEGAL] for the spouse's passing (including guardianship of the children) [ILLEGAL].


I realize Don't Ask, Don't Tell is not an issue about marriage, it is a military issue. But let's be honest, it is not just a "military" issue. It is a social issue reflecting an increasingly stubborn and ignorant moral bigotry in this great country of espoused freedom. I am truly outraged that we, as a citizenry, cannot find a middle ground of freedom and acceptance regarding homosexuality.

If anybody cares, I'm straight. Frankly, I can only hope that I will one day have a loving relationship like those so many of my homosexual friends have discovered. Love is a blessing. For the "In God We Trust" moralists I call my neighbors, consider love to be a blessing bestowed upon us by God. Our human weakness in the form of ignorance, fear, and hatred is denying love among consenting adults, along with so many legal rights associated with marriage. It is truly time for change.

Dissertation "wordle"

Since my dissertation is now ready for defense, I figured I would create a Wordle. So, here it is:



Cheers!

Create your own Wordle in seconds at http://www.wordle.net/

Identity of a Pack-rat

I've been accused of being a pack-rat before, and for good reason. I am. I'm pretty sure I'm not in danger of ending up on the TV show Hoarders, but I certainly own way more crap than one person should own. Rather, my stuff owns me to a certain degree.

Until tonight, I've credited this toward a potentially unhealthy sense of self sufficiency. Since my first year in college, I've tried very hard to have everything I need for any foreseeable situation I might choose for myself. For example, I own a bunch of camping equipment because I will conceivably camp at any moment (although I rarely do). Conversely, I don't own snow skis because I don't ski and don't imagine I would randomly decide to find snowy slopes tomorrow. I keep almost all of my boxes because I move a great deal. You get the idea.

Well, tonight I'm realizing some additional reality. It's about identity. To a certain extent, it's my challenge as an introvert--so much of my personality is internalized that I surround myself with expressions of myself for others to see. Perhaps more importantly, it comes down to my choices of when to move on with my vocational and life journey. You see, this is the second time I've ended a chapter of my journey without knowing what comes next. This creates an unusual paradox. On one hand, moving should be a time of rejuvenation and purging--getting rid of things that aren't worth moving. On the other hand, with this type of move into the unknown, my life is lacking in purpose which challenges my identity; as such, I cling to my possessions which help define me rather than purging them for some known future. There's the paradox: a time for renewal and a struggle to maintain identity.

This just occurred to me about five minutes ago, so I'm not sure what to do with it right now. I'm well into the moving process, and I have a job interview in the morning. For now, I think I just need to keep moving forward. Now that I realize the paradox, perhaps I can effectively deal with it at a later time. Right now, I need sleep.

Preparing for tour

This has been a slow period for blogging...my apologies.

However, things are getting revved up as I prepare to move out and move on.  I will soon start my unemployment travels, and I've set up a special blog just for the occasion:

http://davestour2010.blogspot.com/

Cheers!